


Hello, L

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Death Note, Saw (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Drama, Gen, Humor, Psychological Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 06:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2762570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L's tape, L's trap, and L's reaction. Can L outwit Jigsaw or will he have to play by the rules?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello, L

~ Hello, L ~

"Hello, L. I want to play a game. Some people are so ungrateful to be alive."

 _I'm NOT ungrateful to be alive_ , L thought to himself, sulking.  _First Kira, now Jigsaw, what next_...?

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with your food?" the tape continued. "And you certainly aren't eating any  _healthy_  foods. When was the last time you ate a vegetable, or even a piece of meat? At this rate you will die from lack of proper nutrition within the next ten years."

 _Grrrrrrrrr, why do you care_? L growled silently to himself. And for that matter, why had Jigsaw chosen to go after a world-famous detective instead of the usual lowlife scum he targeted? Maybe he knew about L's less-than-legal connections...  _Although I'd say there's an 80 percent chance that Kira is behind this somehow, which raises the possibly that Light Yagami is Kira to 99.999 percent_. (That's one one-thousandth of a percent chance that Kira's  _not_  Light.)

"You are trapped in a room with a plate of broccoli. When you lift the cover off the plate, the timer will start. You have five minutes to eat all of the broccoli. When you are finished, pull the red lever to open the door. If you do not finish eating in the given time, or if you try to pull the lever without activating the timer, the door will lock permanently and this room will become your tomb."

"What if I activate the timer and then pull the lever without eating?" L mused aloud.

But Jigsaw was known for covering every possibility when constructing his traps. There had to be something else, something to make L follow the rules.

L did not stop the tape and after a few seconds of dead air, it continued, "The plate is attached to a weight-sensitive pressure pad. Unless the weight on the pressure pad is exactly the weight of the empty plate, the gears inside the lever will not be postioned properly to unlock the door and will jam and become locked permanently if you try to move it without eating the broccoli."

"I could just throw all the broccoli on the floor and he wouldn't know the difference," L muttered to himself, but Jigsaw was also known for finding ways to watch his games happening. He turned his attention back to the tape.

"You could just throw the broccoli onto the floor and pull the lever, but there are rules, L. You know about all about rules. There are cameras planted in every corner of the room, and if you exit the room without eating the broccoli, footage of you will be transmitted directly to the lair of the second Kira with the information that you are L." The second Kira only needed to see a picture...

 _Well, he's got me over a barrel with that one_. L sulked in the corner for a while longer, then stood and walked to the table in the middle of the cell, and yanked the cover back from the plate.

"I wish I could play with you..." he told the broccoli regretfully. And he began to eat it, without playing.

_"Some people are so ungrateful to alive, but not you, not anymore."_

~end~


End file.
